Finally, a nice round number. This kid business really puts you to test on your calendar skills. If you ask me at any given point how old Ellison is, I go through a seemingly random and bizarre sequence of calculations that all happen within a split second where I round up, add a month for good measure, subtract six weeks, divide by the number of the day of the week and multiply by number of hours over 40 hours that I worked last week, then round down and then add another month just for good measure. Normally, it’s a guess at first just to buy myself enough time to seriously go through and calculate because I’m not accustomed to telling people how many months old someone is. I do years and still not even very good at doing that. And, in that case, Ellison’s still zero years old. That’s just much easier. That’s gonna be reply from now on. Hold old is she? Zero. She’s zero.
Or technically, she’s .83. Here she was at .33.
What did we learn this month? Well, I’ll start by saying that the lessons come fast and furious once she starts crawling at a leopard speed. That kinda mobility speeds up the schooling. It’s like moving over to the HOV lane and flooring it.
- She likes chewing on all the things she probably shouldn’t. My favorite is keys. Nothing very safe about that, but if you take ’em away, get ready for a tantrum.
- She throws a tantrum now. None very genuine and most can be quelled in just a few seconds, but you’ll know when it happens because her reaction is immediate and severe. It’s awesome. No, really. It’s awesome.
- We’re off the breathing treatments until the fall. Good to not have to do that anymore. Keeping a close eye on her for any changes in her breathing. Only a week removed from being on them, she’s got some sort of sniffly nose. Great.
- Poo really stinks now. I mean, really stinks. It takes on the quality of stink that’s left behind when an adult uses your crapper. Like whoa. By the way, will someone politely let me know when it’s no longer okay to talk about your child’s poo? Just wanna make sure I don’t overstep that point.
- She’s a singer. At least, that’s what I believe. If you sing to her, she mocks the same noises back to you. She also likes screaming.
- Still babbling, but babbling like mad. Only a matter of time before words are flowing out of that mouth of hers. Every word seems to rhyme with “mah.”
- Beyond the singing and babbling, she’s a freaking encyclopedia of baby noises. She’s got a gargle, a rumble, a hiss, a grumble, a pop. She’s more versatile at this young age than Doug E. Fresh or Michael Winslow. Man, a Winslow reference? Google him. My brother’s gotta great Michael Winslow story.
- The can crawl the size equivalent of about ten miles an hour, methinks. She’s fast. She went from army crawl to straight up crawl over a weekend. She’s taken a couple of steps, but not ready to call it “walking” yet. Mama’s prediction on the day she walks is 7/17. Daddy’s is 8/2. Not liking my chances right now. Think she’ll be way early than August.