Daily Operation

The Lovely Wife Wins Again

4:50am. Ellison starts speaking in tongues in the other room. I swear I heard her do a little Jerry Lewis in there too. Speaking of, you want quick bytes of hilarity, search “Jerry Lewis Telethon” on YouTube.

My lovely wife says to me, “You’re getting up, aren’t you?”

I’m struck for a second by her question. Actually, declaration/interrogative hybrid.

“I’ll get up,” I return.

She says it again. “You’re getting up, aren’t you?”

Again, I return. “I’ll get up.”

She then proclaims, “It’s 5 o’clock.”

Here’s what happened, in case you missed it. My lovely wife says you’re getting up, aren’t you which is, in its purest form, like saying, “I noticed that you’re in the active state of getting up currently, but I want to confirm that. So are you not currently getting up? Do my eyes deceive me?”

Because I’m not currently in the active state of getting up, I return with simply I’ll get up which in its abbreviated form says, “No, I’m not currently getting up, but I will get up in the future.” I don’t specify when I’m getting up, but that I will definitely get up sometime.

She then fires back and I return the favor. Then, she states the time. The time is important because she knows that I’m usually up at 5:00am and, it’s an understood agreement in the house that if it’s before 2:00am, she covers it. If it’s after 2:00am, I got it. She says then, to simply qualify who’s time it is by saying, “It’s 5 o’clock.” Of course, she rounds up so that if I’m concerned about how early it is, I’m now under the impression that, well, it’s 5 o’clock. I might as well. And there’s not really a difference between 4:50am and 5:00am. Those ten minutes are like nickels on a six year car loan. Someone will end up eating them. I ended up eating those ten minutes.

The lovely wife wins again. Love that woman.


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