If there’s one thing that’s unanimously agreed upon about me, it’s that I’m frugal. I’m cheap. I shave my head so I don’t have to pay for so much shampoo (convenient that I’m balding). I wear clothes far past their glory days. I buy standard automobiles because I’d use the same set of steak knives for twenty years if I could. I find it incredibly painful to buy batteries. I buy coffee like it’s some sort or precious commodity…only when it’s the right price and then I fill the freezer with it. I’ll eat a soggy banana just so it doesn’t go to waste. I wonder how many clothes we can fit in the washer without breaking it.
That’s why I think the good Lord challenged me so by giving me a baby girl. He knows what a freak I am about money and it would stand to reason that I would have a girl which are anything but practical and cheap. If this was about how girls aren’t cool or rather how boys are cool, then this would definitely be the first reason. In fact, it would be the reason that all others extended from. I can’t think of one fundamental reason more important to a list of how boys are cooler than girls than that they’re cheaper.
But I discovered this last week in a complete random conversation with my lovely wife who is now close to voiceless that circumcisions cost a couple hundred dollars and when you have a girl, you ain’t gotta worry about forking out for delicate work. Bet she wishes she could’ve had those words back now that bronchitis has fully overcome her and rendered her voice useless.
Girls are cool because circumcisions ain’t free. At least not good clean sterile circumcisions performed by a qualified individual and not your uncle who’s only surgical experience was in seventh grade science class.