Girls are Cool

Girls are Cool…Here’s My Third Reason

While it’s true that in any college town or resort community, you might find both males and females baring themselves for the sake of personal expression and stupidity, the act of “streaking” is still predominantly carried out by males more than females.

When you think of an individual preplanning to have just enough alcohol, take off their clothes in front of thousands of soberer spectators with the end result of being tackled by security and getting hauled to jail with nothing but a wash rag as a loin cloth, you’re a man. Or…a really special woman. I’ve known two people who have streaked and both were guys. One of them is struggling with alcoholism and the other has his share of loose screws. Either way, I’ve known only a few girls who have the propensity to streak and, I’ll put it this way, they’re not dating material. No offense to those girls, but c’mon, streaking is a guy thing.

It’s boldness and recklessness that’s more closely attributed to dumbass men doing dumbass things. Not that it’s rare that a woman does it. Watch any “Girls Gone Wild” infomercial (or as my dad calls them: “those commercials on late at night with the girls”–not that he watches them, he just noticed them) and you’ll see girls who will do damn near anything with two shots of bad tequila. But “streaking” is altogether different. It’s something that’s seen to be ritualistic. A rite of passage. But only to men. Women who do it, sadly, don’t really have a clue what they’re doing. For that reason, they don’t do it often. When they do, it’s usually to protest something. Like fur. Or killing whales. Free speech. They don’t put the importance on the act itself like guys do. The act alone is why guys do it. We don’t need a political or social cause to prompt us to do it.

I’ve never thought about doing it, but I’ve thought about how easy it’d be. Does that count as intent in the court of law?

It’s nice to know as the father of a girl named Ellison that when it’s 2032 and you’re going to see the Rangers get blasted by the Red Sox in Arlington because they have no bullpen with your 22 year-old daughter who you’re meeting up with while she’s at SMU studying law, you know that she’s not going to drop trouser, bolt out of her seat and make a mad dash toward the bullpen while evading security. That’s why girls are cool.

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